Palmyran Rebels

Every Wednesday, we post a new photo from a random site in Louisville. The first person to correctly guess where it is can pick up a prize at their next Palmyran Rebels event. You can guess in the comments here or on our Facebook site.

I’ll give you a hint about this week’s photo. The wedding cake is made out of tampons and the fabregee eggs are coated in birth control pills.

Have you ever wanted to be in a music video? Do you love zombies? Well our good friends at Louisville Sub Rosa want to put the zombie peanut butter in your music video chocolate by inviting you to join the cast of extras for their next Zombie Round Up. The Zombification Process and filming will take place May 22, with the video being released on June 26 at Louisville Sub Rosa’s own zombie party!

If you can’t get enough of the undead, Louisville is the town for you. Upcoming zombie events include:

March  25 - Future Survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse 12 Step Meeting

May 22 - Sub Rosa Zombies vs Cowgirls Video Shoot

June 26 - Louisville Sub Rosa celebrates Zombies at Diamond’s Pub and Grill!

August 29 - Louisville Zombie Attack

October 16 - Zombie 1K Shamble…for Braaaaains

I’ll provide more details on all of the above as I get them!

How will YOU survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

You better use your BRAINS now if you don’t want your head cracked open on a giant red penguin at 21c so Louisville’s undead hordes can slurp out your precious grey matter.

The Go Go Guerrilla Army is offering a very special 12 step program for Future Survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse.

• Learn vital zombie trivia
• Get tips on blending with the pack if you’re among the last unturned humans
• Share survival plans and army ration recipes
• Bring photos of your loved ones to practice shooting with nerf darts so you won’t flinch at blowing their mindless corpses away after they’re turned.

Before the nerf target practice, we’ll provide some Effen Vodka drinks to help you get over the gut reaction against shooting your loved ones. It’s for your own protection. One very special survivor will win a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide. The rest of you will just have to take notes… or take down the winner in a preemptive strike.

Bring the friends who’ll be most useful to your survival. Bring photos of your loved ones. Bring nerf guns if you own them.

Since we don’t want the zombies breaking into our 12 Step Meeting, the final location will be revealed 24 hours before we meet.

Stay safe. Stay sane. Stay human.

We put on a lot of events here at Palmyran Rebels - costumed shenanigans with the Derby City Movie Maniacs, flash mobs with Go Go Guerrilla, Progressive Dining coming up this spring, and one of my personal favorites, Louisville Speed Dating.

In addition to the traditional format of 2nd Monday Speed Dating, once a month we’re throwing a non-traditional speed dating event. I freely admit this one is my personal favorite. I’m biased, though. I love murder mystery parties.

In case you’re wondering how the heck the two can be combined, here’s how it’ll work.

When you sign in, you’ll be given your character, a name badge, and a confidential set of decision slips. No real names allowed! At the end of the night, write your character name and their character name on the decision slips and sneak them back to the organizer.

If you both pick yes, or one of you picks yes and the other picks maybe, you’ll get real life contact information!

If you pick no, there’s no pressure and no worry about rejection. Everything is completely confidential!

No more boring dates where you don’t know what to talk about. The Murder Mystery format gives you an instant topic of conversation - and a great story to tell your friends later when they ask how you met your awesome new boyfriend or girlfriend!

This one isn’t until April 16, so gather up your single friends and tell them instead of hitting a bar, you’re going to a party with REAL singles!

60 West Bistro in St. Matthews

Starting this May, Palmyran Rebels is introducing Second Monday Speed Dating in this great St. Matthews location! 60 West Bistro just remodeled their outdoor patio area - and let me tell you, it’s absolutely PERFECT. Plenty of space, tables intimate enough to feel personal without feeling like you’re in the other person’s face, and, of course, fantastic Martini’s.

I really like this venue. Louisville has a lot of great places to meet, but I specifically wanted to find a place that would feel comfortable and safe for women. I know a lot of women who miss out on great opportunities downtown because they don’t want to walk six blocks alone after dark for street parking. I wanted to find an upscale restaurant that offered more than a great menu and drink list. 60 West Bistro is in the prosperous St. Matthews part of the East End. They have a massive amount of well lit parking right there by the building. They’re also willing to send someone out to walk any woman to her car.

This is going to be a fantastic place for summer speed dating. I can’t wait!

This Valentine’s season, Go Go Guerrilla is HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF!

The she-wolf who suckled Romulus and Remus.

Long before Hallmark, ages before heart shaped boxes of candy, heck before there were even saints involved, there was a crazy celebration on the ides of February. Lupercalia!

Back in the day, Romans would sacrifice a goat and a dog, drape a couple strips of goat around some handsome men’s loins, make adorable little whips from the rest of the remains, then run through the streets mostly naked and slightly bloody, quite literally hitting on women. The women lined up for this.

And they say romance is dead.

Friday, the 12th of February, to heck with all those happy couples who’re filling up the restaurants with their gooey eyed gazes and desperate attempts to figure out whether that gift was enough for their date to put out. Instead, go old school with the Go Go Guerrilla Army!

Look for this Guerrilla Girl in a toga and camo boots.

To honor the beast who suckled Romulus and Remus, I we’ll craft an edible wolf for us to “sacrifice.” Vegeterians, be forewarned, delicious sugary grains will be hurt in the making of this faux animal. There’ll also be supplies to make your own ceremonial whips, and, as always, sacramental beverages to help us celebrate this greatest of ancient holidays.

Sign up now.  We’ll reveal the secret location of our Lupercalia celebration 24 hours before the festivities begin.

(Remember, you can also find the Go Go Guerrilla Army on Facebook!)

Go Go Guerrilla Thong

Welcome to Palmyran Rebels shiny new Thong Shop.

I know most people have somewhat more mundane swag. Don’t worry, we’ll be adding Go Go Guerrilla Army T-Shirts and such in the coming weeks. First things first, though - Palmyran Rebels is here to bring you lighthearted fun, and nothing says “whee!” more than amusing thongs and roller coasters. Since personalized roller coasters are out of the average person’s price range, you’ll have to make due with a thong.

This is the perfect thing to wear under your toga at the upcoming Lupercalia party on February 12!  (If you’re wondering where all our RSVP’s are, check out the Go Go Guerrilla page on Facebook. Good times are a’coming!)

I honestly can’t wait for this event. As someone who went on a lot of first dates from online websites, I genuinely want to help people look their best. It’s a high pressure environment and people generally suck at promoting themselves. This is sad, because people want to see you at your best, not at your most self effacing. I want to help you shine like the diamond you really are.

Therefore, Palmyran Rebels is proud to present this year’s 1st DATING PROFILE PERK UP!

No one likes to fill out those personality profile quizzes. Don’t worry - you’re not alone! Louisville Speed Dating is here to help you show yourself off in the very best possible light.

Dress in something you consider flattering, because we’ll be taking up to date photos of you. No more camera phone shots taken in your mirror!

Bring a printed copy of one online dating profile. It can be from Match.Com, Chemistry, OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish, JDate, or anything else. We’ll give everyone advice on how to turn a so-so profile into a real eyecatcher. After that, a member of the opposite sex will give you a few minutes of personal help bringing out your best. While waiting your turn, have a drink, mingle with the other singles, and mug for the camera.

We’re meeting at Java Brewing Company on February 5th.